Like any good sports fan I tend to have very passionate responses to events pertaining to sports. Some may call it “overreacting” though I like to say I’m just emotionally invested. So on order of my therap… uh I mean I’ve decided to share my two cents on major happenings in the world of sports.
Johnny Manziel released and loses second agent
This breaking news claims the crown of “stories most unlikely to surprise me.” Alas the Browns claim another victim in their attempt to break the Guinness book of world records for most squandered talent. Looks like Johnny football has a bright future ahead of him selling used cars and being the grand marshal of the A&M homecoming parade. I’m not sure what is more shocking, Johnny Manziel was able to hang onto an agent for the span of a month or him being able to actually have fun in the city of Cleveland. In a last ditch attempt to revitalize his NFL career Johnny added a criminal record to his resume. I can only see this doing positive things to his skill on the football field. All I have to say to the fading star is, go eat a Snickers man.
Trevor Story tied for second in the Major League with 8 homeruns
Who would have thought a power hitting player from the league’s most friendliest hitters park would almost be leading the league in homeruns. The only person who has more than Story is Bryce Harper. Although that guy is not really human so he doesn’t really count. So far the story on Trevor Story is that this kid is a stud. He understands what the people want and he delivers. You know what that is? Home. Runs. Who wants to see boring old singles or a sacrifice bunt when you can watch a guy hit a freaking ball 400+ feet? Also, Story has to be leading the majors in number of PED tests in the first three weeks of the season. My current projection for Trevor Story is 61 homeruns based on his current pace. I also give Story an inside shot to break the single season homerun record.
Browns trade second overall pick in the 2016 NFL draft to the Eagles
*puts tinfoil hat on* This is 100% a inside job by the NFL in an attempt to make the Browns a better football team than their practice squad. Although Roger Goodell forgets that the Browns are in fact the Cleveland Browns. *removes hat* As for the Philadelphia Eagles this is in line with Philadelphia’s movement to change the cities’ slogan from “The City of Brotherly Love” to “The City with the Most Mediocre Sports Franchises.” I am convinced that the Eagles are attempting to break the Chicago Cubs record for longest span without a championship, or they are enacting the first ever three quarterback system in the history of the NFL. Based on how things are going, the Eagles will most likely be signing Tim Tebow within the next week.
Steph Curry sprains knee in game 4 of the playoffs
Well that’s it folks. Steph Curry has become so dominate they his own body is unable to keep up with his god-like basketball skills. BUT WAIT! Don’t jump off the band wagon just yet. Just before succumbing to injury Steph divided his basketball prowess into 4 magical rings…. I mean sweatbands… which were then given to members of the Golden State team. Thus ensuring that the Warriors will go on and win the NBA championship and stop the Dark Lord Sauron. Although, more importantly so they don’t end up like the 2007-08 Patriots.
Feature image provided by: Erik Drost, www.flickr.com/photos/edrost88/14816757032